It's my brother... I can't even think straight from what happened to him yesterday. . . and all I have to answer for your worries is Vince when there's no way you want to hear about him, and that's all I have to say. . .
There was a game where everyone was supposed to write themselves as some main hero. . . Vince wouldn't do it, so Mirage did. Cast him as some normal model. We were living happily with Oswald and Lacie as our adopted parents. Just adopted...
He smiled and joked, just talked about nothing, cared about little things. And I worried him with such a serious face.
The next day, he called me again, and I was still so twisted up over how he'd never had a chance like that, that it was a laughably good, completely fake dream... he was really hurt by it, too... that kind of thing hurts, and isn't that just pathetic?...
For a minute I made him feel like I just wanted that impossible him to be real, that it was no good whatever he did now. He said I could change his past. I felt so rotten. I want him to have a better life, but not like that, it isn't the only way... It isn't... it isn't.
It's always going to hurt to have someone taunt you with something you can't have. Mirage should have realized that.
But that isn't the way for you and it won't be the way for Vincent either. Really, no one's changing the past anymore. That never worked out anyway. You've been happy with him the way he is now, haven't you?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: [DAY 243]
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. . .
I. . .
was. . .
um. . .
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[huffs, sitting back on his chest]
Why won't you tell me?
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[laughs weakly in response to some soreness being pressed on there, o god
hfhhgnnn. reaches up sluggishly with both hands to cup his face.]
I...
there's a few reasons...
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What are they? You can't just show up hurt like this without a good reason.
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... I don't have any good reason...
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[looks back at him]
So tell me the bad ones.
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. . .
[opens... mouth...
closes it]
Oz... ...you shouldn't pout just to get your way. . .
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I shouldn't have to pout for you to tell me what's bothering you.
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It isn't very suiting... as your servant...
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[catches onto the hand that's still there, you're not getting this one back]
And what about as my lover? As my best friend? After all this time aren't I more to you than just your master?
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Y... you're everything, you're all of those. I just... as all of those things, even moreso... That's all part of belonging to you. . .
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If you belong to me you shouldn't be keeping secrets from me.
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. . .
[mumbly, running the pad of his thumb under Oz's eye, fingers skritching lightly in his hair. His eyes are still a little glazed.]
. . . I was letting of steam. . .
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[leans into it, watching him closely]
There's other ways to do that. And you know I'm going to ask you why.
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I'm sorry... I didn't go out thinking to do such a thing, but then... it happened, and. . .
It's just... that I felt so helpless... and useless... deeper than I have in a very long time. . .
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[siigh, turns and nuzzles at his hand]
What happened with you? Both you and Lelouch have been weird since yesterday.
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I'm sorry. . .
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Don't just apologize for it. Unless you want me to spend all of today worrying about you too.
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S-sorry...
It's my brother... I can't even think straight from what happened to him yesterday. . . and all I have to answer for your worries is Vince when there's no way you want to hear about him, and that's all I have to say. . .
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[but Gil is messed up so there's only one way to deal with this]
I'm telling you to tell me about your brother so tell me about your brother.
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. . .
There was a game where everyone was supposed to write themselves as some main hero. . . Vince wouldn't do it, so Mirage did. Cast him as some normal model. We were living happily with Oswald and Lacie as our adopted parents. Just adopted...
He smiled and joked, just talked about nothing, cared about little things. And I worried him with such a serious face.
All the weight was gone.
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[oh, you actually said it]
[also that is really fridge terrible]
[reaches out with his free hand, brushing Gil's bangs from his face]
So when he called you yesterday, you saw something that could have been, but something that you can't have.
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[you told me to!!]
... It never could have been.
The next day, he called me again, and I was still so twisted up over how he'd never had a chance like that, that it was a laughably good, completely fake dream... he was really hurt by it, too... that kind of thing hurts, and isn't that just pathetic?...
For a minute I made him feel like I just wanted that impossible him to be real, that it was no good whatever he did now. He said I could change his past. I felt so rotten. I want him to have a better life, but not like that, it isn't the only way... It isn't... it isn't.
Re: [DAY 243]
[huffssss, leaning heavily into Gil's hand]
It's always going to hurt to have someone taunt you with something you can't have. Mirage should have realized that.
But that isn't the way for you and it won't be the way for Vincent either. Really, no one's changing the past anymore. That never worked out anyway. You've been happy with him the way he is now, haven't you?
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