The next day, he called me again, and I was still so twisted up over how he'd never had a chance like that, that it was a laughably good, completely fake dream... he was really hurt by it, too... that kind of thing hurts, and isn't that just pathetic?...
For a minute I made him feel like I just wanted that impossible him to be real, that it was no good whatever he did now. He said I could change his past. I felt so rotten. I want him to have a better life, but not like that, it isn't the only way... It isn't... it isn't.
Re: [DAY 243]
[you told me to!!]
... It never could have been.
The next day, he called me again, and I was still so twisted up over how he'd never had a chance like that, that it was a laughably good, completely fake dream... he was really hurt by it, too... that kind of thing hurts, and isn't that just pathetic?...
For a minute I made him feel like I just wanted that impossible him to be real, that it was no good whatever he did now. He said I could change his past. I felt so rotten. I want him to have a better life, but not like that, it isn't the only way... It isn't... it isn't.